Van Helsing (2004)
The one name they all fear
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Shuler Hensley, Elena Anaya, Will Kemp, Kevin J. O'Connor, Alun Armstrong, Silvia Colloca, Josie Maran, Tom Fisher, Samuel West, Robbie Coltrane, Stephen Fisher
Director: Stephen Sommers
Running Time: 132 minutes
US MPAA rating: N/AUK BBFC rating: 12a
Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Horror
Popular culture is littered with celebrated "Vans": Van Morrison, Van Basten, Van Der Valk, van rental - they've all earned their rightful place in the adoring eye of Joe and Josephine Public. Now, at last, it's time for a new pretender to stake his claim for a place alongside those all-time greats: Van Helsing (and no, that's not the first "stake" pun you'll get for your money if you're planning to read on).
A trenchcoat-wearing and devilishly-handsome hardcase employed by the Vatican to teach all manner of monsters a lesson, Van the Man (Hugh "Wolverine" Jackman), careers around late 19th Century Europe making mincemeat of more gothic greats than you can shake an unnecessarily large crossbow at. But his biggest challenge yet waits in Transylvania, and no - it's not the Cheeky Girls. It's something much, much worse. Well, I say much, much worse. What I mean is, it's probably about the same.
The bad egg in question is our old blood-sucking bigamy-loving pal Dracula (a camp-as-Christmas Richard Roxburgh), who's causing all sorts of problems for local toff Anna (a predictably ravishing Kate Beckinsale) and her rapidly-diminishing family. Of course, ol' Dracster didn't count on our man Van popping up to lend a hand - big mi-stake (told you).
Director Stephen Sommers, who with the 'Mummy' flicks behind him is swiftly becoming king of the effects-over-storyline mantra, delivers the most action-packed blockbuster I can recall seeing for quite some time. The no-expense-spared visuals are truly a sight to behold, and "subtlety" clearly isn't a word in Sommers' vocabulary. In short, adrenalin junkies will love it, but everyone else will probably be left wondering whatever happened to trifling matters such as plot, dialogue and plain old credibility.
Still, at least it's a considerably better monster mash than last year's rubbish 'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen'. For that much we should all be thankful.
It's Got: Pitchforks and flaming torches - no self-respecting angry village mob would be seen without them.
It Needs: To be seen for the impressive fx, and a great black-and-white opening scene (in fact, it would have been interesting to have seen the whole movie done in that style).
Alternatives: Underworld, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, The Scorpion King
Summary: This hundred-mile-an-hour goth-romp leaves you gasping for breath - but not for more.
Review by Gary Panton
External Links
Van Helsing at the IMDB
Comments4 Comments |
| And yes this is Hollywood.....they got lot of money to spend on actors and animations...........how about spending some on creating an original idea. Vampires and werewolves....plzzzzzzz get over them and try hiring some fresh minds and new ideas. Movie's dialogue, action sequences, cast...8/10....storyline...2/10.....overall...5/10. |
| Comment by:- Beni-Man | | 18 October 2004 | ip: logged |
| most sucky movie I've seen till date |
| Comment by:- Milind | | 14 November 2004 | ip: logged |
| HOW CAN U SAY THAT- IT ROCKS!!!!!! |
| Comment by:- James | www.dudespowerpodz.tk... | 13 December 2004 | ip: logged |
| Now come on, you're saying it's the most sucky movie you've ever seen but that's just plain rubbish. It's good fun if virtually plotless and worth seeing even if only for the fight scenes which are handled really well. |
| Comment by:- jomo99 | | 18 March 2006 | ip: logged |
