Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)
So much drama, so little time
Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Adam Garcia, Glenne Headly, Alison Pill, Eli Marienthal, Carol Kane, Megan Fox, Sheila McCarthy, Tom McCamus, Richard Fitzpatrick, Sheila Sealy-Smith, Ashley Leggat, Barbara Mamabolo, Maggie Oskam, Rachael Oskam
Director: Sara Sugarman
Running Time: 97 minutes
US MPAA rating: N/AUK BBFC rating: PG
Comedy, Family
If those responsible for 'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen' had spent even half as much time trying to come up with an engaging story as they did enforcing endless glittery costume changes, they'd have an Oscar-winner on their hands. Unfortunately, the only award this thing's likely to win this year is "Shallowest Movie for Early Teens".
You can't really fault Lindsay Lohan's performance as Mary, the somewhat delusional 15-year-old New Yorker who moves to New Jersey, befriends the local nerd (Alison Pill), takes on her new school's top cat (Megan Fox), and insists on everybody calling her "Lola". After all, it's not her fault her character is uninspiring and slightly-annoying even by teen-com standards. But you really have to wonder why on earth she chose to follow up the sparky 'Freaky Friday' with such a lame, plotless step backwards.
Of course it's all completely harmless stuff, with Mary/Lola juggling rehearsals for the school play (a bizarre rock version of 'My Fair Lady' featuring Stevie Wonder and David Bowie covers) with attempting to gatecrash the last ever concert of a makey-uppy band called Sidarthur (who appear to have only one song). But it just doesn't seem to have any discernable sort of point, and at times it seems lacklustre director Sara Sugerman has cobbled the whole thing together without even bothering to give it her full attention.
It's nowhere near as odious as the likes of The Lizzie McGuire Movie or What A Girl Wants, but it's also fairly witless, hence the expressions of intense boredom on the faces of all leaving the theatre come the welcome end of the 95 or so minutes - and that included the target audience of teenage girlies. This is definitely one that's destined for the realms of the instantly forgettable.
It's Got: Remarkably roomy train toilets.
It Needs: To ditch Lohan's deeply cringeworthy rap in the final big number. The girl can sing, but let's show a bit of dignity and leave the horrendous rapping to Madonna.
Alternatives: Clueless, The Lizzie McGuire Movie , What A Girl Wants, Camp, Freaky Friday, Mean Girls
Summary: Wholly uninteresting fluff - Lohan should be aiming higher.
Review by Gary Panton
External Links
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen at the IMDB
Comments14 Comments |
| I haven't seen this film although I like Hillary Duff, I probably won't see it although If I did Iam sure I would find it amusing in it's own way, the reason for writing is to give props to the reviewer because the review cracked me up. |
| Comment by:- Luke | | 04 July 2004 | ip: logged |
| Hilary Duff isn't in it moron. |
| Comment by:- Anonymous | | 05 July 2004 | ip: logged |
| I think the movie sucks but all the girls out there should watch it cos eli marienthal(sam) looks so fine in it. And i just have to say all the outfits in it are waaaaaaay OTT. I mean would you wear silk trews to scool let alone gold ones? |
| Comment by:- Anonymous | | 30 August 2004 | ip: logged |
| Does anyone know where I can find the thigh-high lace-up sneakers Alison Pill was wearing in their idols bedroom?? If so, contact me!!! |
| Comment by:- freekiipursin17@aol.com | | 06 September 2004 | ip: logged |
| hilary duff is evil and i h8 her , lindsay is cool but i like Eli Marienthal he's a totall hotty |
| Comment by:- di | | 11 September 2004 | ip: logged |
| i hat u di!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hilary is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i am her BIGGGGGGGGGEST FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!she so rockssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!she rocks understand?!?!?!and yes the person who made the first comment is os a moron!!!!!!!!!HELLO?!!?!??!?!?!WAKE UP!?!?!?!?hilary duff is notttttttttttttt in confessions!!!!!ANFD U SPELT HER NAME RONG TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!Its hilary get that??!?!? |
| Comment by:- anupama(hilary's biggest fan) | | 19 September 2004 | ip: logged |
| confessions is a so-so movie.i saw it wid my frend lisha at a sleepover n then wid my frend payal at another sleepover.well, i like it...but the outfits as sumone sed are WAY OUT!!!!!lindsay does a good job.....but parent trap still remains my all time fave movie of hers.i like the part in the end wen stuart gives her the necklace and stuff.and i really like lindsays character.i tend to over-dramatize things 2!!!!!(i'm 12 yrs old btw) |
| Comment by:- anupama(hilary's biggest fan) | | 19 September 2004 | ip: logged |
| mark ruffalo is soooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oh n happy bday avril!!!!!!enjoy ur 20th year!!!!!!!!!!!!n hilary.....ur bday tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!omg!!!!17!!!!im buying a cake fr ya n evrythin!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY BDAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!in advance!!!!!oh n once again MARK RUFFALO IS SUCHHHHH A HOTTITUDE!!!!!!! |
| Comment by:- anupama(hilary's biggest fan) | | 27 September 2004 | ip: logged |
| im hilarys number one fan i love hilary soooooooo much shes so cool. ive met her before shes so nice |
| Comment by:- Anonymous | | 08 October 2004 | ip: logged |
| For one. You guys say the outfits are like odd, well that was the point! The ones that Lindsay wore were like that because she was DRAMATIC. And from New York. And Hilary, she's okay, too. Don't flip everyone just because someone doesn't like Hilary or someone doesn't like Lindsay. You all are such spaz's. In my opinion, they are both equally talented. They both just kind of have different tastes. (But to me, Hilary is sort of a poser.) But thats all I have to say. And YES ELI MARIENTHAL IS A MAJOR HOTTIE!! |
| Comment by:- Banana | | 07 November 2004 | ip: logged |
| its a really good show i liked it why you all saying its bout hilary shes not in da movie GOSH!! lol anywayz luv you lindsay im your numba 1 fan holla..!! |
| Comment by:- tiffaney | www.blackplanet.com | 09 November 2004 | ip: logged |
| I saw the movie and thought it was okay. I also wanna know where to find those thigh-highs. I've looked almost everywhere on the web, and haven't found anything. Contact me if you know. |
| Comment by:- queen fushi | www.queen-fushi.blogspot.com... | 17 November 2004 | ip: logged |
| Eli is soo hot! |
| Comment by:- Anonymous | | 20 December 2004 | ip: logged |
| okay guys, this movie is pure hell. it is terrible, the characters freak me out. the outfits are pretty bad too (sorry pplz). Watched it with a friend we couldn't help but critize it. Her singing isn't that great, totally predictable, this is meant for brain washed young tweens. |
| Comment by:- funnymgirl | | 11 November 2005 | ip: logged |
